There’s a reason the loyal dog gets to us. He doesn’t keep score. He doesn’t rehearse grudges. He doesn’t weigh whether his owner “deserves” affection. He simply shows up—mindlessly, relentlessly—right now.
We, however, know better.
We know the risks of standing with the weak. We know the messes caused by sin. We know the sting of being mistreated. And so our love becomes… qualified. We sort people into columns: worth it / not worth it. But Jesus calls us to something entirely different—genuine love that starts with inner transformation and moves outward in sacrificial action (Romans 12).
I. Three Counterfeits That Keep Us From Genuine Love
A. Conditional Love
“I’ll love you if…”
Criteria-based affection (personality, performance, behavior). It starts within our comfort zones and screens people out.
Heart check: Where have I set unspoken requirements for who “deserves” my care?
B. Contingent Love
“I love you because the situation fits…”
We stay when the context is favorable (same group, phase of life, no social cost). Paul confronted Peter for this crowd-dependent love (Galatians 2:11–13).
Heart check: Do my affections shift with the room?
C. Convenient Love
“I love you because it’s easy…”
Low-effort attachment sustained by comfort, routine, or benefits.
Try this: Name three non-family people you say you love with agapē. Are your connection points all in your sweet spot (your interests, your schedule)? If love is only within your convenience, it will evaporate when convenience ends.
Bottom line: Each counterfeit starts with me and moves outward. Jesus calls us to start with inner surrender and move outward with costly, Christ-shaped love (Romans 12:1–2, 9–13).
II. The Problem—and the Pivot (Romans 12)
We are living sacrifices, transformed in the inner person, not controlled by circumstances (Romans 12:1–2). Then Paul says, “Let love be genuine” (12:9) and immediately moves to family-shaped care: honor, zeal, patience, prayer, generosity, hospitality (12:10–13).
Key question: Have I completed the pre-requisite of genuine love, or am I trying to “take the next class” without it?
III. How Jesus Loved Those Entrusted to Him (John 13; 17; 11)
A. He Revealed the Father
John 17:6–8—Jesus’ first purpose with His people was to reveal God, not just share hobbies.
Practice: Let your shared interests open doors, but make your aim to show God’s character and Word.
B. He Prayed For Them
John 17:9–11—Limited by human frailty around them, Jesus interceded.
Practice: Name-specific intercession > vague well-wishes. Pray protection, unity, and sanctification.
C. He Protected Them—By Keeping Them in the Light
John 17:12; 11:7–10, 14–16—Jesus guarded them by directing them toward truth, even when Judea meant risk.
Practice: Protect people by guiding them into the light (clarity, Scripture, courage), not by avoiding hard places.
Who are you: revealing God to, praying for, and protecting in truth?
IV. Genuine Love Opens the Door (Romans 12:10–13)
“Outdo one another in showing honor… be fervent in spirit… rejoice in hope… be patient in tribulation… constant in prayer… contribute to the needs of the saints… show hospitality.”
That list is blocked if love isn’t genuine. But when love is real, the door swings wide:
- Honor replaces comparison.
- Zeal replaces apathy.
- Prayer replaces control.
- Generosity replaces self-protection.
- Hospitality replaces clique culture.
Application prompts:
- Whom will I honor this week—and how?
- What “inconvenient” hospitality could I offer?
- Which need (financial/practical/emotional) can I quietly meet?
V. Laying It All Down
A Baltimore mother’s house caught fire while her 8-month-old slept upstairs. She couldn’t reach the child. Firefighters found the baby alive—shielded by the family dog, Polo, who lay over her and perished in the flames. That’s what sacrificial love looks like.
We have a greater Savior who laid down His life for us (John 15:12–13)—while we were still sinners. He calls us to love in the same pattern: not conditional, contingent, or convenient—but cruciform.
Call to Action:
- Repent of love that starts with your comfort.
- Reorder your week to reveal God, pray for specific people, and protect someone by walking them into the light.
- Reach beyond convenience—serve someone outside your circle.
Reflection: Who are you laying your life down for—and does your love look more like Christ than convenience?
